Stop Overeating and Binging by Legalizing Food

Using the non-diet approach to heal emotional eating means letting go of diet thinking and diet behavior. If you've decided to try this out, you already know that diets don't work. In fact, the physical process of dieting causes your metabolism to slow, so you actually gain weight more easily. And the mental process of dieting reinforces harmful and inaccurate beliefs like

1. You can't be trusted to feed yourself
2. You're out of control
3. Or you're bad for wanting to feel good

By legalizing food, you give yourself the opportunity to know that you are not out of control. It was deprivation that made you think you were addicted to brownies (or chips or whatever).

At first, when you legalize food, you may find yourself eating a lot of foods that used to be forbidden or restricted. Over time, your mind and body see that these foods are not going away - that you are not just binging in preparation for the next diet. And then you get to relax. The food is not going to be taken away from you. EVER. So it's okay to wait until you're hungry to eat it. It's okay to wait until you really want it.

Over time, food loses the magical allure of the forbidden. And you discover that sometimes, you don't feel like a brownie. What you really want is a baked potato (or a chicken leg or whatever). When this happens, you may feel relieved, or sad or both. The relief comes from knowing that you can be trusted to feed yourself in ways that are nourishing and caring. You are not out of control.

The sadness often comes from losing a ritual - waiting for the desire to build and the tension to rise, fighting with yourself over should-shouldn't, good-bad. And then giving in to the desire, maybe even hiding your eating. It's like a secret lover. When you legalize all food, your lover becomes "legal" like a husband or wife. You get to be loved in the morning with bad hair and bad breath. And in exchange for the comfort, you lose some of the passion. The trade off is well worth it.

I know what you're thinking - "but what about my cholesterol (blood sugar, blood pressure, etc.) I can't just eat ANYTHING!" But that's the next post.

Hunger and Fullness - finding your targets

Have you ever noticed that waiting too long to eat makes you overeat? This is fairly common. When we get super hungry, our blood sugar drops, hunger pangs can become painful, we may get a headache. We may even trigger anxiety - especially if there were times in the past when food was withheld or unavailable.

In response to the intense hunger and the anxiety, we eat voraciously when the food is finally available. We eat fast, trying to feel better as soon as possible. Often we don't realize we're full, because there can be a delay before the brain registers feelings of fullness. We zoom right past full into stuffed. Then we're just as uncomfortable as we were before. Now the discomfort is from being overly full.

It can be very helpful to have a tool to measure your hunger and fullness. Imagine (or draw) a measuring stick with numbers from one to ten. Let One be "so hungry that you can't think straight." Two can be "very hungry." Three, "a little hungry." Four, "comfortable but you could eat a little." Five. "completely comfortable, not noticing any sensations of hunger or fullness." Six, "comfortable and satisfied." Seven, "comfortable, but a little full." Eight, "a little uncomfortable - a walk would help." Nine, "so full, must undo top button." Ten, "passed out after Thanksgiving full."

With this measuring stick to help, you can decide what level of hunger and fullness work best for you. I know if I let my hunger go below a two, I'm going to be cranky and light headed and probably overeat. I also know that I like to eat to a five when I'm active and a six when I can relax.

What's amazing is that I've learned I don't like to be too full! Even at Thanksgiving! It helps to know that all food is legal, and when I'm hungry again, I'll be able to eat what ever I want. But that's the next post.