I just had a great walk/talk with my friend Aaron. Like so many men in our culture, he was indoctrinated into the belief that tall, skinny women are sexy. But he shared that that's not what he's really attracted to. What he really likes are short, curvy women.
When a friend points out a tall, skinny girl and says "She's hot!," Aaron doesn't get it. He remembers going out with those tall, skinny girls, thinking he should like them, then finding himself losing interest.
"Now, finally at 40," he says, "I can own that I really like shorter, heavier women. For a lot of guys, it's hard to acknowledge this. It's not what we're supposed to want."
I was so delighted to hear him acknowledge this truth. Clearly it's not just Aaron or my own sweet hubby who are attracted to REAL women. Otherwise only the skinny people would pair off.
The next time you find yourself lamenting that you have to lose weight to find love, remind yourself of Aaron, and all the other guys out there who will want you and love you exactly as you are. Beauty comes in all kinds of packages.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Showing posts with label fat acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fat acceptance. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Edna Turnblad
Have you seen Hairspray (the remake) yet? I LOVE this movie. And I especially love watching the transformation of Edna Turnblad (played by John Travolta) from frumpy, shameful, shut-in, to glorious, glamorous activist.
With the encouragement of daughter Tracy (Nikki Blonsky) and Motormouth Maybelle (Queen Latifah), Edna realizes that it's okay to "live large." It doesn't hurt to have a husband (Christopher Walken playing Wilbur Turnblad) who really loves and appreciates Edna for exactly who she is.
But is this "happy ending" just a movie fantasy? NO!
It's really important when you're working on size and self-acceptance to remember that the movies (and tv and magazines) usually portray a very skewed view of human (especially women's) bodies. The average woman in the United States wears a size 14. That's AVERAGE (aka normal). If you believe what you see in the media, it's too easy to compare yourself and fall short.
Real women come in all shapes and sizes. We have fat deposits on our hips, bellies and thighs. Our boobs are uneven. We get acne and wrinkles. AND, we find partners who love us and desire us, exactly as we are (just like Edna).
If this is hard to believe, go outside. Walk around a mall, a supermarket, anywhere that people congregate. Notice who's alone and who's together. You won't see all the perfect people coupled up and the imperfect single. You'll see a mix.
Love isn't about perfection. It's about connection.
With the encouragement of daughter Tracy (Nikki Blonsky) and Motormouth Maybelle (Queen Latifah), Edna realizes that it's okay to "live large." It doesn't hurt to have a husband (Christopher Walken playing Wilbur Turnblad) who really loves and appreciates Edna for exactly who she is.
But is this "happy ending" just a movie fantasy? NO!
It's really important when you're working on size and self-acceptance to remember that the movies (and tv and magazines) usually portray a very skewed view of human (especially women's) bodies. The average woman in the United States wears a size 14. That's AVERAGE (aka normal). If you believe what you see in the media, it's too easy to compare yourself and fall short.
Real women come in all shapes and sizes. We have fat deposits on our hips, bellies and thighs. Our boobs are uneven. We get acne and wrinkles. AND, we find partners who love us and desire us, exactly as we are (just like Edna).
If this is hard to believe, go outside. Walk around a mall, a supermarket, anywhere that people congregate. Notice who's alone and who's together. You won't see all the perfect people coupled up and the imperfect single. You'll see a mix.
Love isn't about perfection. It's about connection.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)