Friday, April 15, 2016

Lovingkindness: the *Shpiel Method

*In Yiddish, Shpiel (spiel, shpil) means a long, involved story, often used to persuade. When someone calls you to donate money and reads a canned speech, that's their shpiel. When your uncle Morty tells the same old tale about a no-goodnik trying to get one over on him at the flea market, that's his shpiel.

In a few weeks I will be teaching a meditation class. The goals are stress reduction, lowered anxiety, increased self-awareness, self-compassion and resilience. My plan is to start with LovingKindness meditation.

Meditation Class, Pleasant Hill, CA
http://www.julielevin.com/meditationclass.php
LovingKindness provides a focus, something for the mind to do instead of thinking all of its habitual thoughts. If we let ourselves really feel the emotions that go along with the words, we also generate some very nice feelings, and with that, we change the chemical bath our neurons live in. LovingKindness also creates a new mind-habit: thinking compassionately about ourselves and everyone else.

As a therapist, I think this is a great way to begin a meditation practice that will gradually shift toward mindfulness in general and insight in particular. Having our own compassion is a gift when we sit quietly and notice all the mental debris that has collected in our minds over the years. It's a gift when we begin to feel the emotions that a noisy mind is trying to keep us from feeling.

In preparation for the class, I've been thinking about my LovingKindness Spiel - the talk I plan to give to introduce the practice, and to help students deepen into the feelings that LovingKindness invites. It helps that SHPL is the acronym I use when I teach my version. Here's what I plan to tell them.

S is for SAFE. May we all be safe. May we be safe from muggers and terrorists, from car accidents, financial setbacks. May we be safe from the latest virus making headlines. When I wish safety for myself and all beings, I imagine a wave of energy circling the planet. In the mind-movie I create, people literally put their guns down. This is a prayer I send out to the universe, just in case anyone with any kind of power is listening. Then I reflect on my part in this change I wish to see. I lay down my own weapons - usually sarcasm and judgment. And when I do this, I usually feel a sense of relief and ease wash over my body. Then I focus on the good feeling my intention creates.

H is for HEALTHY. May we all be healthy in mind, body and spirit. May the delusions that cause fear and animosity fall away. May the stress that creates tension and illness fall away. May doctors and scientists discover treatments or vaccinations for cancer, MS, ALS, and all the other diseases we struggle with. I send the prayer. I see the wave of energy. And then I reflect on my part. May I eat wholesome food. May I do cardio most days. May I work on dissolving the mind and body habits that create pain. When I wish myself and the world health, that sense of relief and ease usually expands, and I marinate in the good feeling in my body.

P is for PEACEFUL. May we call feel peace and contentment. Especially because we can't control how life unfolds or how other people behave. May we all discover the ability to observe our feelings and respond gently to them. I send the prayer. I see the wave. I bring it inside. May I continue developing my own compassionate, observing self, who can feel all the feels, big and small, without trying to control things I have no ability or business trying to control. Now the relief is even bigger. It's so good to remember I can be peaceful even when I am struggling or in pain.

L is for LOVINGKINDNESS. May we all be filled with lovingkindness. May we awaken in the understanding that life is painful for everyone, even Dick Cheney, as Anne Lamott would say. I send the prayer. I see the wave. May I grow more and more compassionate with myself and others. May I remember to practice random acts of kindness. When someone drives like a jerk, may I remember they are struggling and send them wishes for safety, ease and peace.

Lovingkindness usually fills my heart with tenderness and openness. Sometimes I can feel it in every cell of my body, as if I am glowing. I imagine (and studies are beginning to confirm this) that I am flooding my body with happy neurotransmitters and new neurons are growing.

So that's my plan for the first few sessions, steeping in LovingKindness. Later we will use that compassion and the bath of happy neurotransmitters to deepen into compassion for all of our thoughts, crazy and sane,  and all of our feelings, comfortable and uncomfortable.

And that is my shpiel.

If you want to join us in this practice, you'll find all the details here.

To learn more about how meditation changes the brain, read this article by Dr. Rebecca Gladding.

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